Many nights,  I wake up to reach for my husband in the middle of the night, and instead there is only his pillow beside me. For many women, they would love the break from the snoring or the enjoyment of having the entire bed to themselves. Instead, I dread when my best friend is gone for work. It is like a piece of me is missing. I want to curl up in a ball and just wait for him to get back home to complete me again. Instead, I have to keep going because I have three little people who count on me to make breakfast or to play board games. I knew exactly what I was getting into years ago when we met. At the time it didn't seem like it was a big deal, I figured it was a small price to pay for such an amazing guy. Then, reality hits. 

     Daily, I struggle with balancing my duties as a mother and everything else in my life. It is a horrible feeling, the desire to fulfill yourself as a person but knowing that it is at the detriment of your children. Years ago, I made the decision to give up a career to stay at home with my kiddos. There is no more difficult, yet more rewarding job than being a stay at home parent. Even though I am content with my position as my kid's mommy, I felt like I needed more. I had a drive to use some of the brain cells that were dying off daily from the lack of adult conversation. I wanted to contribute to our family in more ways than I was.