One of the things we pondered when becoming a family were traditions. During the decade I had been married, there were many things we had done year after year. Once we had parted ways, we knew it would be painful for the children to do those same things again.
We decided to just say screw it. We take every day as it comes. Each holiday as it goes. We don't really make plans, much to the annoyance of our relatives. We decided to not have traditions. We generally do not discuss the past. If it comes up with the children, we answer questions. That is all.
After time, the pain faded and we love not having a plan. Once in a while it gets more difficult for me, because I thrive on planning. But, it works best for our family.