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     When the husband and I first got together, we knew things would be complicated. Not between us, but with the children. Since I had been married, and the children were cautious, we tiptoed lightly. 
     One of the things we pondered when becoming a family were traditions. During the decade I had been married, there were many things we had done year after year. Once we had parted ways, we knew it would be painful for the children to do those same things again. 

     This is probably something many families like ours goes though. What do you do at Christmas?What about bedtime?  Do you keep doing the same thing or start a new family tradition. Do you keep going places the kids loved going before, or do you avoid them altogether? Every decision seemed so difficult. 
     We decided to just say screw it. We take every day as it comes. Each holiday as it goes. We don't really make plans, much to the annoyance of our relatives. We decided to not have traditions. We generally do not discuss the past. If it comes up with the children, we answer questions. That is all. 
     After time, the pain faded and we love not having a plan. Once in a while it gets more difficult for me, because I thrive on planning. But, it works best for our family. 
 


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