In any relationship there are times that you find yourself in a lull, right? Times where kids, work, friends, everything else seems to come before each other. I know it happens, it has happened to us. I hate that it has, but instead of letting it go on we changed it.
Our general rule of thumb is: if no one is going to die because we don't do it, then it doesn't HAVE to get done. Because of this rule, we find much more "us" time and much more "family" time. This adds much more balance to our family. We also realize that in order for our kiddos to be happy, the husband and I need to be happy. Our relationship needs to be healthy and needs to be a priority.
We aren't perfect. We will never have the perfect home or the perfect yard. We don't make it a point to trim the hedges once a month, or dust the baseboards once a week. However, you can find the husband and I having a lunch date in our living room while the kids are at school and youngest is napping, at least three days a week. We make it a point to find time together. We let our children take their time and discover things, instead of rushing them along through life. We enjoy each other other in our family. In today's world, that seems to be a thing of the past.
A lot of times, when a couple has a child, parenting becomes the priority. Which it should, but they almost forget they were a couple. I believe this is one of the main reasons for the divorce rate. Separation becomes an easy option when you have just been co-parenting with this person you live with instead of being an actual couple you once were. A lot of couples begin to focus solely on the child, and forget about what they were. I believe that is why making "us" time is so important.
You don't need to find a babysitter, we have lunch in our living room and watch Netflix. We may just sit and talk for an hour when the kiddos go to bed and have a glass of wine. Either way, take a hour a day just to connect with your partner. It sounds like a lot, especially with all of the burdens put on us by society. There is homework, dishes, cleaning, work, and it would be awesome to go to bed early! But, think of that person you fell in love with and sit and connect with them for an hour instead on turning in early tonight. That's how you reconnect. And, if you don't get the dishes done, no one will die, so don't sweat it.