Yesterday I was sitting on our front patio talking to middle child. A group of kids walked by and she got very sad and quiet. It took her a bit, but finally she told me what the problem was. "I want a group of friends like that, but everyone just leaves me out of everything," she told me, "my cats are my only friends, but they can't talk."  
     I told her, "That isn't true at all, I am your best friend and I always will be." 
     She replied, "It isn't the same, mom. You have to be my mom, not my friend." She is right, and I didn't have a response. I wanted to cry, as my heart broke for her. 
     As a parent, I want to fix everything. I want to make everything better by putting a band -aid on it and giving it a quick kiss. Unfortunately, middle child is reaching the age that her problems won't be fixed so easily. 

     Middle child has had a rough couple years in school. She doesn't have many friends and she gets shunned a lot. We spend hours upon hours at her school in conferences trying to figure out resolutions. Nothing gets better. Instead, middle child comes home most days and tells us about how she spent recess alone or sat by herself on the bus. She is usually the last picked and has trouble finding a partner.
     She is my brave girl though, she makes the best of it. She keeps trying to make friends and puts herself out there each day. I know that it effects how middle child perceives herself. She has begun to doubt her self worth and her body image. She believes others are better then her because they wear make up and are prettier in her eyes.
     I wish she knew how wrong she is. She is such an amazing girl. Middle child is beautiful and smart. She reads constantly, and every fact is stored in her tiny little head. When you have a conversation with her, it is like talking to someone ten years older than her actual age. I want her to know how great she really is and not be influenced by her peers. I am so in awe of my little girl.
     I worry a lot about middle child. I look at oldest and know that he will do so well in life. He will have his choice of prom dates, friends and any college he wants to go to. He is the type of kid that just glides through life with ease. Middle child concerns me. She is going to have a tough time and I don't know what I can do to fix it. I can't make it easier or hurt any less, no matter how badly I want to. I just want to tell all of the kids how stupid they are for not being friends with her. What a great opportunity they are missing out on, and middle child doesn't need them. In the end, I won't say anything. I will just hug her when she needs it, kiss her when she allows me to, and know that everything works out just fine in the end. 


07/13/2014 8:42pm

My heart breaks while reading this. As my two daughters enter into the school system, one going into kindergarten and one heading to 3yr old pre-k, I know the word of friendship, cliques and popularity lies ahead. It terrifies me to think that one of my girls may feel the way you've described "middle child." I wish I had some wonderful wisdom to gift you, but I don't. I guess as momma's all we can do is tell them that everyday of our school life wasn't sunshine and roses either. We all have low times, we feel excluded and we often covet the "perfect" lives of the popular. However, once we're out of school we can see that no one had it perfect. I'm sure the day will come when I'll have to reassure my girls that life is bigger then this time of school age drama. I hope the happiness out weighs the hardships for your sweet middle child!

Comments are closed.