When I became I parent, I always said I would never spank my children. I would never use phrases like "because I said so" or lie to them. I was so full of shit. My young, naive self had no idea that you do whatever it is that you need to, in order to make it through the day. There are three of them and one of me. They wear me down and then spring when they smell weakness.
Every day, I hear myself saying things I always swore I would never say when I was a mom. I have turned into my mother. All I can say is mom, you were right. This is by far, the hardest job, ever. I was a horrible, evil child. I am sorry. Yes, I am responsible for all of your grey hairs. On my kiddos's worst days, it is probably payback for everything I put you through. You were right. I think that should cover it.
The one thing I have held true on, is spanking. We don't spank the kids. Although, it would be so much easier. There are so many times, in the middle of a debate with middle child, I ponder how quickly I could end it with a swift crack to the behind. However, that just leads to more crying and bitching, and it really gets us nowhere. So, we get creative with punishments. Typically, it is essay writing. Oldest and middle will have to write essays on particular subjects when they misbehave. It tends to be much more effective than spanking. The kids say that this form of punishment borders abuse, but I am okay with that. Then, I have them write an essay on abuse.
Raising kids is hard. It is so extremely difficult. I guess it would be so much easier to parent with fear, but it doesn't really help the kids. I am not saying that my way is correct, but it works for us. In reality, my kids have turned out awesome. I couldn't ask for anything more. So, I must be doing something right.