Middle child is turning ten. She has been in this world for nearly a decade now and they have been ten of the best years of my life. I love that little girl more than anyone can possibly imagine. She is my world, as all of my children are. So when middle comes home from school crying because kids make fun of her or abandon her, it breaks my heart. As a parent, you talk your child through it and wait for things to pass, but with middle it doesn't go away. All summer she has been dreading this year. She knows that kids can tell she is different now. She knows she is different. I try to tell her that different isn't bad, it is beautiful and wonderful. But when you are ten, you don't want to stick out, all you want to do is fit in.
Middle child dedicated hours each week over the summer in therapy to get ready for the kids at school. Coping and avoidance, how to answer normal questions that are second nature to all of us, how to talk so that people don't stare at her, and so many other things that should't burden a little girl. She works 364 days a year on trying to be "normal" according to the world's standards. Her birthday is coming, and I am giving her a pass. The class rule is that everyone is to get an invite to the party. I refuse to make my daughter invite the children who make her feel like shit and cry. I will not make her follow the rules this time. It is one exception, and in our home there are not many. Things are extremely structured here, they must be with middle child. But, she deserves a pass on her birthday. It is one day she should not have to look at the girls that will not play with her because they don't like the words she uses or the shoes she wears. She shouldn't have to worry about being judged or talked about. The party is here, in our home, and this is her safe place. Inviting those children would mean that middle couldn't feel safe here. It is her birthday, and it isn't right.
Why the hell should everyone get an invite anyway? I don't get invited to everything I want to go to as I am sure you don't. There is a sense of entitlement in children today, and things such as this are the reason why. My perspective is: If you are a nice person, you get invited to things. If you are not, then you sit your ass home because you are mean.
My daughter gets one day a year to act normal. She works hard, very hard, every other day. Screw the rules, she is going to have her day.