We are a very carpe diem family. There are many times we say screw it to all responsibilities and go have fun. We laugh, play, and love deeper than most. It also allows time to pass quicker than you could ever imagine.
These weeks are hard. There are five of us stuffed into a tiny little hotel room, one who is still in diapers. The hubby and I share a bed with a toddler who is all legs, and kicks all night long. We all have different sleeping habits and patterns. Some like night lights, and some prefer to snore very loud. We all manage. Last night was our final night in Kentucky and little man couldn't sleep.
Everyone else had long fallen asleep and the toddler and I were the only ones awake. We listened to the quiet breathing, and loud snores, around us. Since middle child prefers a night light, the bathroom light had been left on, so the glow illuminated little man's face. I started to fall asleep, and when I looked at him, he was smiling. I asked him what was so funny, he showed me his hands. He was trying to do the Spider-Man web slinging action instead of sleeping. I decided to embrace the moment and go with it.
Being a two year old, he doesn't have the fine motor skills of his older siblings, so holding down his middle two fingers while his other two remain upright eludes him. I helped him place his tiny digits into proper web slinging fashion on his left hand, then his right. As I worked on his hands, his left fingers straightened. Finally, we got both hands ready to sling web.
"You hand mommy," little man whispered. He wanted to help me do the same with my hands. He gently took my fingers and placed them the way Spider Man would have held them. At this point, I was ready for action, but his were undone again. I think you can see our quandary. Each time he helped me, his hands would straighten. Then I would help him, and he would want to help me. FInally, I figured out a way to place his fingers while mine were still bent. My mini Spider-Man was pleased. Little man looked at me, "Shhhh, mommy. Sleep now." With that, he put his head on my chest, and his feet in his father's face, and went to bed.
I looked at him and my heart broke. He wasn't that same baby I would rock to sleep last summer when we traveled to hotels weekly. Now, we play Spider-Man till he decides we are ready for bed. It will keep changing each year, until he has moved on and it is just the hubby and I on our own.
I look at my three kiddos and they are each my babies, but in their heads they are these little adults. How can I break it to them that they are never allowed to grow up? I just want to freeze them like this forever. It is these moments that I steal and save away in my memory for those bad days. The ones that I ask myself why I try so hard to be a perfect mom, because it never goes right anyhow. I savor those precious times, because I know they are few and far between. With three kids, there aren't many quiet moments, and even less one on one times. I know I can't keep them small forever, but I can embrace each day and make the most of every moment. Even making Spider-Man hands in the middle of the night.