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     There are the certain moments that clinch your heart and squeeze it. The pain of watching your child grow into a little person is almost unbearable. Last night I had one of those moments. 
     We are a very carpe diem family. There are many times we say screw it to all responsibilities and go have fun. We laugh, play, and love deeper than most. It also allows time to pass quicker than you could ever imagine. 

     This past week, we spent the week in Kentucky. It was a very, very rough week. Two kids got sick, it was miserably hot, we were stuck in a hotel room for days upon end, and we still managed to have a great time. It wasn't a vacation, we were there for my hubby's job. We travel with him so we can keep our family together. It is easier than watching him leave and having him gone for a week at a time. So, we pack up our children. and during the summer we are a traveling fam. 
     These weeks are hard. There are five of us stuffed into a tiny little hotel room, one who is still in diapers. The hubby and I share a bed with a toddler who is all legs, and kicks all night long. We all have different sleeping habits and patterns. Some like night lights, and some prefer to snore very loud. We all manage. Last night was our final night in Kentucky and little man couldn't sleep. 
     Everyone else had long fallen asleep and the toddler and I were the only ones awake. We listened to the quiet breathing, and loud snores, around us. Since middle child prefers a night light, the bathroom light had been left on, so the glow illuminated little man's face. I started to fall asleep, and when I looked at him, he was smiling. I asked him what was so funny, he showed me his hands. He was trying to do the Spider-Man web slinging action instead of sleeping. I decided to embrace the moment and go with it. 
     Being a two year old, he doesn't have the fine motor skills of his older siblings, so holding down his middle two fingers while his other two remain upright eludes him. I helped him place his tiny digits into proper web slinging fashion on his left hand, then his right. As I worked on his hands, his left fingers straightened. Finally, we got both hands ready to sling web. 
     "You hand mommy," little man whispered. He wanted to help me do the same with my hands. He gently took my fingers and placed them the way Spider Man would have held them. At this point, I was ready for action, but his were undone again. I think you can see our quandary. Each time he helped me, his hands would straighten. Then I would help him, and he would want to help me. FInally, I figured out a way to place his fingers while mine were still bent. My mini Spider-Man was pleased. Little man looked at me, "Shhhh, mommy. Sleep now." With that, he put his head on my chest, and his feet in his father's face, and went to bed. 
     I looked at him and my heart broke. He wasn't that same baby I would rock to sleep last summer when we traveled to hotels weekly. Now, we play Spider-Man till he decides we are ready for bed. It will keep changing each year, until he has moved on and it is just the hubby and I on our own. 
     I look at my three kiddos and they are each my babies, but in their heads they are these little adults. How can I break it to them that they are never allowed to grow up? I just want to freeze them like this forever. It is these moments that I steal and save away in my memory for those bad days. The ones that I ask myself why I try so hard to be a perfect mom, because it never goes right anyhow. I savor those precious times, because I know they are few and far between. With three kids, there aren't many quiet moments, and even less one on one times. I know I can't keep them small forever, but I can embrace each day and make the most of every moment. Even making Spider-Man hands in the middle of the night.
 


Comments

Marlene A Green Cooper
06/27/2015 9:26pm

Reminds me of all the times when my children were little and we traveled because their father was in the military.

Jen Flesvig
06/28/2015 12:19am

Oh my goodness, Tre... I could almost picture this in person! I'll never know what it's like to have that feeling, but I DO reflect on the things my step-daughter used to do when she was young. I hope this summer fills you ALL with little treasures to remember.

Marya Mann
06/28/2015 8:56am

Oh my Tre. Well said. Life is beautifully complicated but I wouldn't have it any other way. At one point you at a tear rolling down my cheek because everything you said is so true but it's little moments like that, that get us by. I think it's absolutely wonderful you travel to keep your family together and definitely motivational. I don't know tooand families anymore that stick with eachother and goodness you do it. No one said it'd be easy but you know what? You are an awesome mom. I've seen it. Your family is precious and I adore you guys. Hang in there and remember those moments because you will miss it. Whom I kidding? You already know that ;). I have one toddler and I have many nights I just cry at the thought of her growing up and not realizing it til she is sleeping peacefully or perform little actions such as your youngest. God bless you and your family.

06/28/2015 10:14am

I am literally in tears right now, as I know that my little one will grow and change just as yours are. It really is hard to see each new thing they learn because you know in your heart it is one step closer to their independence, and not needing us as much as they did. I sit at night and rock my little guy and even after he is long asleep, I stare into his beautiful little face and pray that he stays this little forever, and hope that my best is enough. Yes, it is inevitable, they will grow up, but by being a great mother you instill values that will stay with them always. Then when they grow up and become parents, they can look back on all the things done for them and know that when they do their best and give all the love they have to their children, they are doing it right. <3

06/28/2015 11:33am

I love this story! I also have a 2 year old and 4 year old (and 14 year old) and we cosleep regularly. My 4 year old slept at my sister's house last night so my 2 year old saw it as his opportunity to have mommy & daddy all to himself. It's amazing how fast they grow. These are the memories only we will have because they won't remember!

Tiffany
07/09/2015 6:00am

So relatable!

Anna Glenn
07/09/2015 8:42am

These are the moments you will cherish forever and need to remember when the days are hard. You captured it well!

karen bellomy
07/19/2015 8:49am

This is priceless and the memories out way the bad always I have found that the struggles really bring the family closer and it sounds like your family is already very loving and giving Enjoy every moment because they really do grow up way too fast!


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