Most days I look at my husband and I know that we complete each other. His weaknesses are my strong points, and vice versa. We make each other stronger because we are together. He makes me feel incredible because he needs me. Then, there are the days I wish he didn't need me quite so much. After four years, one would assume my husband would know where we keep the kid's thermometer ( or any other object he cannot find). I do not play hide and seek with it. I don't change up where i put it just to feel needed. In all fairness, I know my hubby feels the same each time I ask him to upload all my pictures to the computer, even though he has showed me countless times how to do it. I am fully aware of how to do it. I just live in fear of deleting our memories, And if he does it, I can blame him.
After being married you learn to accept your partner's quirks, no matter how stupid they may be. It just isn't worth a fight. So there really isn't work involved. For us, we just roll our eyes, kiss and move on. In the beginning, I would walk into my clean bedroom and trip over piles of clothing. I would find piles of mail and see mounds of jackets on our stairs. It was my husband's quirk, he piled everything. I like things in their home. I'm a neat freak. He is a piler. I explained that it was annoying and he politely ignored me. Now, he still piles and we have moved past it. I obviously have not, since I am writing about it, but it is a work in progress.
Marriage isn't hard. Marriage isn't work. Marriage is about loving all of the bullshit along with the really great stuff. Even on the worst days, you have to love it. If you don't, that is a huge red flag. I'm in a marriage that I would eat week old sour cream sitting in a room full of piled clothing, and I would still be pretty darn happy. That's love.