A lot of people start divorce proceedings only to stop halfway through. If you are in this position, then you might have a chance to salvage things before it’s too late. Try to speak to your spouse and think about how to win your ex back — 5 steps to get them back. If you can work through things there’s a chance that you could avoid the entire thing. This is a bit of a longshot but you never know, it could work.
Why Do You Want To Stay Together?
Another thing that you should be thinking about is why you want to stay married. What is it that you love about your spouse? How long have things been going wrong for? If you find that things have only started to break down recently, then a divorce might be too drastic and there may be a way of convincing your partner of this as well. On the other hand, you might also realize that you are holding onto something that is already broken. It is difficult to admit that you don’t want to be with somebody anymore, especially if it has been a long time. When you’ve been with somebody for years, it can be hard to imagine yourself without them, but this can often be mistaken for love. Ask yourself whether you really want to be with them or whether you’ve just gotten comfortable.
If you’ve exhausted all of your possibilities and it doesn’t look like your partner will consider any other avenue apart from divorce, you’re going to have to learn to deal with it. One of the biggest mistakes that you can make is trying to deal with the whole thing on your own. Nobody can deal with something so big without a bit of support. An amicable divorce is much easier to deal with but if you don’t want to get divorced in the first place, it can be difficult. Seek the advice of friends and family and get their help, both emotionally, and with paperwork etc.
Make Sure That You’re Involved
There is a danger that you might be left out of a lot of the decisions if you try to remove yourself from the situation. People that don’t want to get divorced have a tendency to act like it’s not happening and hope it will all go away. It won’t. If you remove yourself from the situation too much then you will just end up getting a bad deal once the divorce is over. Take an active role in the proceedings, and deal with things in a timely manner. If you drag the whole process out, your spouse is just going to end up resenting you and you’ll reduce the chance of having a good relationship afterward.
Give It Time
While it might seem like things couldn’t get any worse, you won’t be feeling like this forever. It’s an old cliche, but time heals everything. Focus on the future and remember that things will eventually be back to normal again. It will help you to get through the difficult period if there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
This is especially important if you have children. They will pick up on what is going on and it could damage them in the future. Although emotions are high and you are likely to be upset and angry, resist the urge to engage in arguments. Petty personal attacks won’t get you anywhere, they’ll just make the whole process longer and uglier. If you deal with things like adults, you can get the divorce finalized as quickly as possible without causing any more problems.