As parents, all we want to do is protect our children. We want them to be safe and happy and fun-loving, no plagued by the hurt that life can sometimes throw up. That’s why talking to them about difficult topics is often cited as one of the worst things about being a parent. We know we have to educate them on these things - death, growing up, financial problems, divorce, politics - but that doesn’t make it any easier.
     These are all topics that put our parenting skills to the test. We panic, freak out a little, lose our focus and then start trying to figure ways we can sweep these conversations under the carpet and hope our children don’t notice. Of course, we know this won’t work. Kids are so intuitive.
     That’s why we have come up with some pieces of advice from leading psychologists to help you learn how to approach any tough talk you may need to have with you kids:
First, Look After You

Before you talk to your children, you need to make sure that you are okay first and have patience with this. The reason for this is, kids, look up to the parents or carers for cues. That is how they learn how to respond to a situation. Let’s say you are at the beginning of a divorce, and you’re feeling sad and angry; if you talk to your children in this state then they will reflect your emotions. Your best bet is to make sure you are okay first. Speak to friends and family, seek custody help and therapy if you need and, only when you are best possible shape, should you talk to them. This will show your kids that it is important to discuss and show their feelings, while also showing them that you can still cope with life despite hard times.


Always Consider Their Age


If children are young, then you need to know that it is okay to shelter them from bad news. Of course, this isn’t always a luxury we are afforded, such as when a loved one passes away. A lot of the time, though, it could be something that doesn’t need to be discussed at all, such as a national disaster. As such, it is always worth asking yourself some questions before having any chats with them. For example, if your child is not aware of violence yet, it isn’t worth expanding their knowledge. That is always a good way of knowing whether or not you should hold a talk or whether it is something that they would be better off not knowing.
How To Start Talking

When tragedy strikes, no matter what form it strikes in, it is always safe to start a conversation by asking your child what they think happened? What this will do is give you a clear understanding of how much information your child needs on the topic, or whether they just need reassuring about something. To put it simply: less is more in this scenario. So ask them what they know or what they think and then answer those questions without having to go into any more detail than you think is necessary. This isn’t to hold stuff back from them, but rather to protect them and their innocence.  




 


Comments

07/04/2017 2:10pm

The separation of parents is the worst subject for the children to understand and accept. Remainings are also very important, but the divorce disturbs the child's mind and leaves deep impacts on their little minds.

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07/11/2017 12:37am

Have a nice conversation with them, so that they are able to share anything openly with you.

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Nice post, thanks for sharing.

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